21st- A Full Circle.


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It’s ironic how, as I celebrate my 21st year of existence, I’m pondering about death. To my 3 bosom friends who are dead set against my decision to put my life in the hands of a cheap alternative: if my life was to disappear before your very eyes at the strike of midnight of the new year, I can only hope I’ve made a difference in your life, as much as you’ve made a difference in mine. I thank you, for keeping me in your prayers, and am extremely humbled, to be the subject of your over-anxiousness.

I apologise for this extremely tardy birthday post. School & work’s been nasty. It was a challenge to pick out my favourite photos from that day too.

I actually drafted this on the day before my birthday, knowing fully well that I’d be caught up with school & work when my recess week ends.

To my parents;

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Thank you parents for such an outward loving gesture, planning this 21st party as a surprise. For all my teen hood years, you’ve shown implicit parental care, but this day you’ve unreservedly and generously done everything within your means to deliberately plan a surprise for me, taking in all my subtle hints on what I’d like my 21st birthday to be like. I believe your means were in fact stretched, given all the constraints you face. Yet you took it in your own stride to do your best to make this day special for me, deliberately asking me for any wishes (on multiple occasions) that I would like to be granted. Because this is the first time you’ve gone all out to celebrate my “grownup” birthday, I feel like your little girl all over again. I feel touched every time you do the little gestures that you do trying to hide from me and act oblivious on the days leading up to my birthday. I’m giggling inside each time you think I don’t know but when in fact I’m sharper than you think. 😉 To avoid disappointment, I had no other choice but to appear nonchalant too. 😛 I didn’t have any other choice. I couldn’t give you away; it would have spoiled your effort.

Thank you for giving me that 100% attention as I turn 21. ❤

To my sis;

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Yes I know you have A’Levels to study for and yet you spent the night before trying to appease me when I flipped my wardrobe inside out to pick a dress for this day, your Saturday blowing balloons and dolling the place (and yourself up) for me. Thank you for everything you’ve done! :mrgreen:

My friends;

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I’d be best at knowing about the investment of time. Well aware that I grant you less time than you deserve, it comes at a price- under-nourished friendships. For that, I am extremely apologetic. I know that I don’t offer my time to care about your happiness or wellbeing as much as I wish I did. As such, I never dare ask or hope much from you, choosing to rely on my independent self. Every year I make a resolution to be more selfless, but I always pale in comparison to friends like you.

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Yet you’ve done so much for me. I feel only one thing- undeserved. I feel undeserving for all the love you have showered on me to make this day so much brighter for me. Thank you for doing everything you can to make this day perfect, from helping to plan this party and setting up the decorations to contributing to my birthday present, even though I’m used to being an ordinary inconspicuous face in the crowd. Thank you Pam C for the lovely red velvet cake.

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Thank you for showing support to me in your own way, be it having salad lunches with me, asking how my family is, supporting my fitness endeavours, being my fashion critique, poring over hot bodies, and going on explorations with me.

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I know I don’t show my emotions much, but I want to let you know, I am extremely touched that you came down to celebrate my birthday with me. All of you hold a special place in my heart.

To him;

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Maybe I’ve said them over & over;
Maybe I’ve run out of things to say;
Maybe you can already read my mind;
Maybe no words can express my fervour.

I know I have a short fuse. I know you have to spare more effort for me. I know I demand a lot of your time & your attention. We’ve spent plenty of time learning about each other. Yet each time you express your love, it never wavers nor diminish in intensity. I know you’re doing your best to make me your happiest girl, talking to me even when you’re at the brink of exhaustion, taking a trip down to see me despite deprived sleep.

I complain and pretend to be envious of other girls’ boyfriends, but that’s just me being irksome. 😛 Deep down, nobody can compare with you. You have such an immense capacity to love & forgive, to give & to take, that sometimes I feel ashamed being your girlfriend. My irrational behaviours sometimes know no boundaries, yet you’re willing to accept me and take it in your stride. You are so noble in your capacity to love, you have no idea how fortunate I am.

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On the post-Illumination beach party, you ask me why I’m so loving. I felt so indebted to you. For having to wipe my vomit when I got wasted, for cleaning me up before putting me to bed, for covering me with a blanket when I couldn’t muster the energy to, for sacrificing one of the best parties we’ve attended & the music. Being with me the whole time, scrambling around to find water, not minding that I’m covered in sand, getting so wasted that you had to carry me around. I’m so, so sorry you wasted the whole night. How can there exist a better guy for me?

Not forgetting the sleep, money, time and effort to do the planning and obtaining the decorations. I can’t love you more. Thank you for doting on me so much.

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Now may I indulge myself in some of the decorations from that day’s party? 😀

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Thank you all of you, for making Bel green (pun intended) from ear to ear this 21st on the 11th of Oct 2014! You are very, very, very much loved. And if she was to solve the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle in 2015, know that Bel has never been happier in all her life- she is surrounded by people who love her, her birthday wish has been fulfilled (thanks to all her kind friends), she is proud of the achievement she’ve carved out of her own ability by the age of 21, and that she has lived and loved with all her heart. 😆

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