Of happiness and marriage.


Can I ask you something?
What makes a man happy?

The things society tells us we must have to be happy—a new this or that, a bigger house, a better job. I know the falsity of it. I can tell you they are not happy because of them.
Having more does not keep you from wanting more. And if you always want more, you are missing the bigger picture, and I can tell you from experience, happiness will never come.
#100

People expect too much from marriage today. They expect perfection. Every moment should be bliss. That’s TV or movies. But that is not the human experience.

Twenty good minutes here, forty good minutes there, it adds up to something beautiful. The trick is when things aren’t so great, you don’t junk the whole thing. It’s okay to have an argument. It’s okay that the other one nudges you a little, bothers you a little. It’s part of being close to someone.

But the joy you get from that same closeness—when you watch your children, when you wake up and smile at each other—that, as our tradition teaches us, is a blessing. People forget that.

Why do they forget it?

Because the word ‘commitment’ has lost its meaning. A committed person was someone to be admired. He was loyal and steady. Now a commitment is something you avoid. You don’t want to tie yourself down.

It’s the same with faith. We don’t want to get stuck having to follow all the rules. But real commitment? That requires staying power—in faith and in marriage.

And if you don’t commit?

You miss what’s on the other side.

What’s on the other side?

A happiness you cannot find alone.
#144

Thanks KC.

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