1) Realize Everyone Else is Human
This is very fundamental and a good place to start.
Whenever you’re about to interact with someone and you feel your confidence dwindling, remember that that person is human just like you.
No matter who they are, how successful or beautiful they are, I guarantee you they have their own doubts and insecurities… and they’re probably much more concerned about what you’ll think of them than what they think of you!
Ultimately, all of us are looking for the same thing: meaningful connection with one another. Why get scared?
2) Visualize Your Best Self
Just like athletes visualize their performance before a race/game, visualizing your best self first thing in the morning is incredibly powerful. It “warms up” your mind for the day, and reprograms your subconscious mind by reinforcing the right neural pathways.
Every single morning, after my morning meditation, I spend 5 minutes visualizing and feeling the different qualities I want to embody during the day (i.e., confidence, courage, care for others, discipline, gratitude). When I open my eyes, I feel totally empowered and ready to rock. Give it a shot tomorrow and see how you feel.
3) Work Out
Working out is one of the fastest ways to boost your confidence. Not only does it help you develop a body you’re proud of, it also gives you more energy and the profound satisfaction of doing what you know is right for you.
I generally work out 6 times/week, but as soon as I skip 2 days in a row I notice a difference in how I feel. Seek to make working out (even 20 minutes/day) a ritual – something you do almost automatically.
4) Use Mantras
Mantras, which literally mean “sacred utterances” in Sanskrit are powerful affirmations you repeat over and over again. They’ve been used for centuries in the eastern world as a way to reprogram the mind and empower the individual.
You can easily repeat mantras in your head (or out loud) while you’re running, driving or meditating.
A few good mantras you can try:
“I am totally independent of the good or bad opinions of others.”
“I am confident, I am powerful, I am [enter your name].”
“Every day in every way, I’m getting stronger and stronger.”
I’ve repeated each one of these mantras thousands of times over the past 2 years, and I can certainly attest to their effectiveness.
5) Surround Yourself with Inspiring People
To build your confidence, it’s critical that you spend most (or all) of your time around people who believe in you, encourage you and support you. If you have negative people in your life, let them go. Spend time with those who uplift you. It’s way more fun and will do wonders for you confidence.
Check out this post to discover how I found my tribe and how you can too.
6) Celebrate Your Wins
Every time something good happens to you, take time to celebrate it. Give yourself a pat on the back. Call your mom. Do a happy dance. Go out with friends. Whatever you do…Celebrate! You’ve earned it!
To take it a step further, turn it into a ritual. Every Sunday, when I do my weekly planning, I take 10 minutes to review the things I accomplished in the last week that I’m proud of. No matter what, I always come up with 10 things. Some are big, some are small. It doesn’t matter…it’s all about the positive reinforcement.
7) Get Energized
It’s pretty hard to feel confident when you’re running on low energy. Whenever you need a confidence boost, jump around, shake your body, put some pump up music and get energized.
It will heighten your senses, increase your alertness and make you feel like you’re ready to take on the world.
When it’s my time to shine, whether I’m about to give a presentation, an online class, or simply walk into a room full of strangers, I jump on the spot for 10 seconds while repeating a mantra. Create your own “pump-up” ritual and make it your secret weapon.
8) Prepare Yourself
This is the most basic tip, yet perhaps the most important of all. It’s not really a hack, but I can’t leave it out. If you want to have confidence when the spotlight’s on you, prepare yourself when no one’s watching. Hard work is the raw material out of which confidence is built.
You have an important presentation to give? Practice the heck out of it.
You have an important sales call to make? Review your notes repeatedly.
You have a big competition coming up? Train harder than you’ve ever trained.
You have a big date this weekend? Visualize it going well over and over again.
Every time you see someone beaming with confidence, I can guarantee you they’ve earned every single bit of it behind the scenes.
9) Keep Your Mind Razor-Sharp
There’s something incredibly empowering about feeling your mind is extra sharp. On a very basic level, make sure you read stimulating material every day, eat super healthy, meditate daily, listen to inspiring audio tapes, take on challenging tasks and optimize your sleep.
10) Optimize Your Posture
If you want an instant dose of confidence, optimizing your posture is one of the fastest ways.
Try it right now: Stand up straighter. Puff your chest out a bit. Lift your chin up. Put a confident smile on your face. Boom, there you go.
Feeling better already?
Whenever you’re about to do something that requires confidence, get your “confident posture” on. Not only will you feel more empowered, others will also perceive you and treat you differently.
11) Stand Guard Over Your Thoughts
Every day, we have an incessant stream of thoughts. Some good ones, and some bad ones. They key is to catch the bad ones, and replace them immediately with empowering ones.
A simple trick you can use to eliminate your negative thoughts is to wear an elastic band on your wrist. Every time you catch yourself having a negative thought, pull the rubberband back,and snap it. It will cause you a little bit of pain and start reconditioning your brain to avoid this thought.
To gain greater control over your thoughts, I highly recommend the practice of daily meditation. As I’m writing this, I’m on a hot streak of 537 consecutive days of meditation, and I can say it’s the single best habit I’ve developed over the last few years.
12) Be Vulnerable
Being vulnerable to be more confident?! Sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it?
Here’s the deal: if you’re willing to open up and share your insecurities, you’ll allow yourself to receive help from others… and you’ll have much less of a burden to carry with you. You’ll be free to be you.
Being vulnerable means being authentic. Being authentic means being real. And being real is the root of being truly confident.
13) Adopt the Growth Mindset
You can either go through life with a fixed mindset (this is the way I am and I’m going to stay this way) or with a growth mindset (I’m a work in progress and getting better every day).
By adopting the growth mindset, you recognize that every situation is an opportunity to learn and grow. It takes away a lot of pressure… and allows you to be fully confident because you know that regardless of the outcome, you’ll have become a slightly better version of yourself.
14) Accept Compliments Gracefully
Just like celebrating your wins is important, make sure to embrace compliments. We all have a tendency to shrug off compliments people give us… but why?
When someone gives you a compliment, say thank you, and allow yourself to appreciate it.
15) Take Action!
Here’s one of my favorite quotes of all time (it’s actually in my email signature!):
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” ~Dale Carnegie
If you want to get more confident, you gotta take massive action. Make a plan and get after it. Take risks. Lean in to fear. Make shit happen.
Every time you put yourself out there and take action, you earn a little extra confidence and prepare yourself for an even better future.
Ultimately, confidence is earned, not hacked. You have to use these tips day in and day out. Make them a part of your lifestyle.
It’ll take some effort on your part, but I can’t think of anything more worthwhile.
Because living with confidence not only feels amazing, it opens the doors to anything you want to accomplish in life.